Poor, Poor, Ryan Lochte

Poor Ryan Lochte. 

Just when he thought he was in the clear for lying about being robbed at gunpoint at the Olympic Games, his moment of redemption is ruined by people who disagree with he did. 

After the messy Rio incident, Lochte was invited on America's Rehabilitation Show, Dancing With the Stars. Last night, after his big debut dance (to "Call Me Irresponsible," which begins with Lochte being rebuffed after trying to get too fresh with his dancing partner Cheryl Burke (way to go on the image makeover, DWTS)), protestors, armed with T-shirts with Lochte's name crossed out, rushed the stage during the live broadcast, only to be tackled by about five security guards shortly thereafter: 

It's a good thing Burke was there for him to step behind or I'm not sure what would have happened! He probably would have had to feel the heat of people being upset about his actions. 

Not long afterward, Lochte gave an "emotional interview" in which he described how the incident felt: "like someone just reached inside, took out my heart, and stepped on it:" 

Look, Lochte is sorry, okay? He's said so on television. He's already been suspended from competitive swimming for ten whole months. He's already lost all of his commercial sponsors. 

Now he has to put up with his attempt at getting back into America's good graces getting interrupted by people who are still upset at him? How can we do this to him? 

It could be because his tree is getting more worn down.

Whatever the reason, this is totally unfair, and I'm sure he's a great guy who totally didn't mean to completely disrespect an entire country and cast all Americans as privileged jerks. Just let the guy dance already! 

What's that? Laurie is dancing now? Great...what were we saying....? Ryan who....?